After the news of our IVF failure, (I say ours, but really it was my body’s fault) I was stunned. I was at a friends house, and I couldn’t even really cry. I couldn’t grasp the reality of the words “it’s over” at the time. As I was driving home, it hit me, and I let all of the emotions out. I hadn’t been able to tell my husband yet. When he got home from work later that night, I told him. We were both heartbroken, but Mr. Lucky is also Mr. Positivity, and had all positive things to say despite the negative trench I was digging for myself.
I told him immediately I wanted to move forward with adoption. We didn’t know where to start. Looking back on it, we know God had a hand in this one, because we lived next door to a pastor and his family. When they came over to introduce themselves to us after we moved in he told Mr. Lucky that their two beautiful girls were adopted. We never would have guessed. Remembering this, we decided to knock on their door to see when we could talk to them about adoption. They graciously let us into their home at that moment and sat with us to talk about their experience. Their honesty, love, and grace brought so much relief to us. It was nice to know we wouldn’t be alone in all of this.
Mr. Lucky’s hesitation towards adoption was loosened after seeing their amazing girls and their parenting in action.
We began researching local agencies. After the orientation for the state adoption, I told him that I really wanted the experience of having a newborn to care for, and that my heart couldn’t yet handle the struggles many of the children in the system had already endured in their short lives.
I made a spreadsheet of all of the features of each agency, the costs, the wait, the up-front fees, the homestudy cost, and legal fees and if they were not already included.
We only met with one agency in person, but we had it narrowed down to two. We had $1200.00 to start this journey. Thats IT. I vowed to fundraise my little heart out for the rest, and do WHATEVER I had to, to make it work. So when we selected our agency, it was because they required the least amount of money up front before our homestudy was approved and we could be considered by expectant parents who were considering placing their child for adoption. Both of the agencies we had narrowed it down to, had the same bottom line cost essentially, but one of them required other training, etc. up front before you could begin your homestudy.
We met with the agency director, and enjoyed meeting her. She answered some tough questions and gave us hope that our wait wouldn’t be very long. We were requesting placement of a biracial infant. Since we are an inter-racial couple (I am caucasian, and Mr. Lucky is Jamaican) they were confident we would be chosen quickly as many of their expectant parents prefer an inter-racial couple to raise a biracial child.
We were handed a folder with a giant stack of paperwork to begin, and we were told we could schedule our home study visits as soon as we turn in the paperwork.