Fast forward – we owe the agency a retainer fee and expectant mother expenses to be officially “matched”. Mr. Lucky said that we would not put the retainer down until we knew for sure we could secure he entire amount so that we don’t lose anything just in case. I am always the one to jump in head first, and he is the cautious one. There is a level of risk in adoption. If the expectant parent decides not to place the child for adoption at birth, more than likely you will have lost all of the living expenses paid out, and some agency fees. This can easily top $5,000.00 and up. The expectant mothers sign a contract that if they choose to parent they promise to repay the monies for living and medical expenses, however most of them have no means to do so. More than likely that money is lost in what is considered a failed adoption.
We had spent almost two weeks trying to secure the remainder of funds for this adoption. what we found was that people just AREN’T lending money for extras like adoption. First, we were having trouble finding lenders that offer loans this high. We applied for a couple of things, and one was denied, and the other was a “christian” credit union who denied us because our specific christian denomination was not an “accepted” one. We also attempted to cash out a pension and were filing the papers to do so, when we were told we were “misinformed” and we can’t after all, because adoption, according to the IRS, is not considered a “financial hardship”. Imagine that.
This left us at a point of complete despair. We could swing half of the cost, but not the other half. So we pushed in high gear planning some fundraising events which consisted of:
– A giant yard sale with items donated from friends and family that they didn’t want or need any longer
– Selling our hot tub
– Selling old textbooks
– Rolling spare change
– My 2nd job working in a foster home
We just needed one tiny little glimmer of hope that we could finance this adoption and feel comfortable putting the retainer fees down to continue the match. We were given just a few more days from the agency at this point to finalize our monies and pay the amount due at that time.