Infertility Stole These Moments From Me

I will never get to hear my baby’s heartbeat coming from within my womb. I will
never get to see my baby on an ultrasound for the first time. I will never feel
those first kicks/movements. I will never be the first voice and sound that my
baby will hear. My baby will always love her first-mother first.

Am I completely happy with our decision to adopt? Yes.

Does it ever get any easier to know you can’t have a biological child, maybe. Some say it will get better after we have our child in our arms. Maybe so. Until then, there are moments, although they are coming less frequent, when I wish that I could have what “everyone” else has the blessing to experience.

I journaled this passage on Mother’s Day when we were anticipating the birth of our daughter.1407386_72879601

I have to say, yes, the pain is easier. It all is easier. My heart is SO full of love for this little girl. In hindsight I feel like those who only experience pregnancy and do not experience adoption – are missing out on emotions and a love that is so much more incredible. You love harder, you cherish every moment more, and you never, ever forget what it took to get you where you are.

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