On paper I look dead

My surgeon did in fact recommend that I have bypass surgery. I met with him Thursday and he was so nice, and reassuring. He told me that once this is said and done, my body should finally stop fighting itself, and I have a real chance to rid myself of all of my autoimmune diseases, hormonal imbalances, and the dead weight.

At the end, he hugged me. He had told me earlier that I was “just a baby” but on paper, a hot mess. I am a hot mess. On paper, I look practically dead. If you included all of my labs, it would look that much worse.

I left the office excited for the future, nervous for the changes, and full of questions.

Since then, I have joined an online forum for bariatric surgery patients. It has been a wonderful resource for me to get my mind wrapped around all of the changes that I will undergo.

Some of the things I am most worried about:

my marriage – so many marriages don’t survive weight loss surgery, and I love Mr. Lucky so much. He has alot of weight to lose as well, so for now I will just pray he will understand why I had to go this route, and he will follow along with the changes in our lifestyle as a unit.

transfer addiction – some people who were addicted to food move to other addictions. LMM has promised that she will help keep me on track and watch out for me when it comes to this part. I don’t think I have an extremely addictive personality, so I hope I will be ok.

Nutrient Loss – with RNY surgery the body has a hard time retaining nutrients so depending on supplements for the rest of my life will be my reality. I am hoping that once my body is less reactive to the autoimmune factors, it will give me a chance to actually absorb some of the nutrients I am taking in supplement.

So to prepare for surgery, I have to accomplish the following things:

I need to clear up some things with insurance. My insurance company says I only have to have 3 months of physician supervised weight loss visits (I do), and one cormobidity of obesity – I have several. BUT my summary plan description from my job states that I have to have 6 months of weight loss visits, and lose 10% of my body weight within the last 12 months. I am trying to figure out which requirements I have to meet, and if there are exceptions. Clearly, if I could lose the 30 pounds I would have by now.

I ordered several assorted sample packs of protein powders so I can learn which flavors I like before I order a giant tub of it. I may even consider going on a shake diet to lose the 10% if it is in fact a requirement.

I have to meet with the psychologist and nutritionist.

and……..I need to write my will – just as a precaution.


P.S. My heart goes out to all of the victims of the Boston Marathon explosions. Having grown up in New England, a piece of my heart is in Boston and I am horrified at what has unfolded today. This world is so sad.



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