Wow, what a crazy ride it has been over the last couple of weeks. I write this sitting in the hospital with a bout of pancreatitis which I am not sure is related to surgery or not yet. Regardless it is painful and nauseating.
Since surgery I have learned that my willpower is stronger than I ever believed it could be. I have not eaten solid food in 15 days. I miss it. I have had dreams about eating food. Watching tv commercials about food is torture. However, whatever metabolic/hormonal changes that have occured within my body have allowed me to control the cravings and sustain myself on a liquid diet without feeling completely miserable (most days). I am learning head hunger and real physical hunger. I am learning how my new stomach communicates with me (sometimes not so nicely!).
I have learned how much food is a part of american culture in an unhealthy way. I am re-training my brain to eat to live and not live to eat. This is a work in progress.
I have learned what an incredible machine my body is. For ONCE I feel like my body is starting to work correctly. I have dropped 27 pounds in 14 days and I feel incredible mentally and emotionally. I stopped bleeding a few days ago so hopefully this means my hormones are starting to shift. I have suffered very little with headaches from my intracranial hypertension and I have not once needed pain medication for it since surgery.
Even sitting here in the hospital if this episode is dubbed as a surgical complication, I already feel like this surgery has changed my life for the better.
I can’t wait to report that my wedding rings fit again. They are SO close and I have not been able to wear them since 2011 when I had back surgery and had to remove them. Maybe another two weeks!!?
Wishing you all great health, confidence, inspiration, and mental/emotional clarity!
What reflections do you have today for the last two weeks?