Cruella

I have officially named my pouch, Cruella. The “pouch” is the new stomach created from the gastric bypass. Cruella is very temperamental.

CruellaSo far, she does not like cottage cheese on a regular basis. She also does not like sandwich meat. Then she decides on and off to like or dislike foods that she may have had the opposite opinion of the last time it was eaten. She is confusing, and causes me much grief!

Another thing that causes me grief these days is the scale. I have lost only 4 pounds since the last time I wrote. I am grateful for any loss, I just feel like living off of 600-800 calories per day deserves more. I know that people are noticing differences in my face, and I can no longer wear my work pants, so I am celebrating those small victories instead. I know where I can improve in my lifestyle and I plan to make those adjustments.

As of 5 weeks post surgery, I have lost 37 pounds and have dropped one size.  I am free of all diabetes related concerns and medications, and I am off the Diamox for the Intracranial Hypertension. Right now I am taking a few medications; zoloft, thyroid meds, and prevacid for the issues with the pancreatitis. Oh, and my bariatric vitamins.

This week was supposed to be my last iron infusion for this round. They cancelled me last week because I developed hives two days after one of my treatments. So I will meet with the hematologist this week to determine what the next step is. Of course, since I have come off the iron treatments my bleeding has increased ten-fold and I can be safe in assuming that my levels have probably tanked all over again.  As much as I wish the bleeding and anemia had resolved by now, I am grateful to have the diabetes and IH symptoms gone.

As far as my workouts are concerned, I am hitting between 6,000 and 12,000 steps on any given day. I track my steps using Jawbone UP and I love it. It also helps me track my sleep (which is a mess!). 10,000 steps translates to roughly 5 miles. I am looking forward to the start of my running routine. I am confident I can handle the training, but I am not looking forward to running in this heat!

Lucky Charm is also having a bit of a rough time lately. She is starting to comprehend (as much as an almost 3-year-old can) who her birthmom is. We have short conversations about her, and she has spoken to her on the phone. She has also seen a picture. She speaks of her as if she is HERS (she is!) and she is very proud when she talks about her. I don’t know if she is processing her loss, or the trauma she experienced, but after my hospital stays she has been having a very hard time sleeping, and she is acting out quite a bit. Some of her contrary behaviors I know are probably typical for her age, but the aggression is hard. I wish I knew how to handle it better. I contacted a therapist who specializes in adoption and I hope to get some insight.

As far as my career change, I wish I could say I had positive news. I contacted someone about this potential career shift and they did not have positive information for me, but I won’t give up. It has just left me with the thoughts of, what in the world do I want to do with my career? What field can I work in that will give me the pay and satisfaction I desire of a job? What kind of certifications can I get to make me more valuable?

So far, I am coming up empty handed. So yes, I am in limbo mentally with SO many things right now.

Until next time.

JMLLSignature

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2 thoughts on “Cruella

  1. dear lady

    i am so thinking of you. pheeeewwwwww the mental challenges. i think those are the hardest. in the end. when all is said and done. to cope and to stand straight while the earth is moving from right under you, when everything seems to want to topple over.

    all i can say is i don’t know you, but you know what, i am thinking of you, and i am sending you good wishes and good vibes all the way from cape town in south africa at this very moment.

    xxxxx

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