I’m a Machine!

Over the last few weeks if there is one thing I have realized, it is that I have a bazillion things going on at one time, and somehow I am equipped to handle it all. Whether life is hard, or it is running smoothly, this body and mind of mine are a machine. I am a machine.

Update on the PET Scan and results: My oncologist said that the one node that is concerning in my neck near my jugular vein cannot be biopsied because it is too risky, but that is the only way to diagnose Lymphoma. He wanted to take a wait and see approach even though he cannot explain the crazy levels that seem to only be present in Lymphoma. Dr. Wonderful (my primary) is not satisfied with this wait and see method. She referred me to a local cancer specialist. I have an appointment on Monday with a Lymphoma specific specialist. Hopefully I will get answers other than “let’s wait and see if Cancer will deveop and spread through your body before we have a plan of action”.

Update on Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party: We had an amazing time with our friends. We trick or treated through the Magic Kingdom, rode the carousel, saw the end of the parade, watched the castle show and fireworks (which were the best fireworks I think I have ever seen at the Magic Kingdom!), and we got to see some really cool characters that we don’t normally see (Jafar, Lotso Bear, all 7 dwarfs, and Mickey dressed in his Halloween best!). We also got lots of comments on our homemade costumes.

and last but not least my running progress: I shaved THREE minutes off of my original mile timing! I ran two miles yesterday and two miles the day before. My most recent run yesterday I had a 13:27 minute mile, and the second mile was 14:10. I am still so shocked at what my machine of a body can do. I also have had a cold thanks to the lovely germs that Lucky Charm brings home from school – so I can’t imagine what I am capable of when I am feeling normal (as if that EVER happens!)

My weight is dropping slowly and steadily but I feel good overall. My bleeding has finally stopped for the last three weeks and I am praying this is a sign that my hormones are starting to regulate now that I have lost a chunk of my body weight. As of now I have lost 50% of the weight I have to lose. This is incredible in just four months. Gastric bypass has changed my life. I could never have accomplished this on my own with all of the health complications I have been plagued with.

That’s enough of a crazy sporadic update for now! Hope you all are well and making progress in your life journeys.

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Crunch

photoDo you ever miss the texture of a food? Will a good crunch will satisfy you? I miss crunchy food.

Right now my diet is so restricted that I have missed crunch in my life. Until I found these Sea Salt and Vinegar PROTEIN CHIPS!!! They are the perfect mix of crunch and flavor, for only 9net carbs and they pack 10g protein for an added bonus! These are my new favorite find!

It will probably never be a good idea to eat regular potato chips again, but these will be a good substitute until I can eat things like crackers. My nutritionist probably wouldn’t be thrilled with me eating them, but thankfully I only had half of this little bag and I felt satisfied. What are your favorite healthy snacks? I would give anything for a crunchy raw piece of celery or carrot. 4 more months to go? Ugh.

I am almost 2 months out from surgery and I am down 47 pounds. I feel amazing, and Lucky Charm and I even walked 2 miles last night when I got home from work. Well we ran some of it, as much as one can run with a toddler.

I can’t wait for the months ahead. I am finally really starting to see changes in myself. This morning my cami (I typically wear them underneath my dress shirts to prevent cleavage at work and to help suck in my stomach) was so baggy that the arm holes were sagging. Since when do cami’s sag? When they are TOO BIG!

I am excitedly looking forward to our little Disney family getaway in August for Lucky Charm’s Third Birthday. I have most of our reservations secured and I am working on the extra special magical details. I will write another full blog post on all of my fun plans and visions soon.

Oh, and as for the therapist, she gave us some really great suggestions to help Lucky Charm’s sleeping patterns that have somewhat worked so far. As for our marriage – Mr. Lucky thinks the therapist is unnecessary and we can resolve everything on our own. I disagree but I am not going to continue to argue with him about how we can fix this. He needs to be willing to go the distance too. So for now, things are just coasting, and I don’t know what to do.

I’m also thinking about giving away a thirty-one thermal lunch tote to one of my followers when I reach 100 followers. Would you all be interested? I may even be able to throw in another fun prize.

Healing

Yesterday I was working from home because I caught a bit of a cold, and Dr. Oz was on in the background. He had a segment about Crystal Sonic Therapy and how it can do wonders for healing clarity, pain, relaxation and sleep. I decided to download one of the CD’s on itunes to see if it helped me any, and I have to say it is VERY relaxing. I am sitting at my desk listening to it with headphones and it really is amazing how powerful it is. If you are struggling and you can take the time to listen, I highly recommend it even just for relaxation because I’m not sure I’ve personally experienced any other benefits from it so soon.

My lucky little family and I are starting therapy on Friday. It is going to be good for us. Mr. Lucky and I have some things to sort out stemming from our infertility and growing our family. Mr. Lucky really wants me to get pregnant. If you didn’t know by now, I’m infertile. However, weight loss surgery changes things for some people. The sudden weight loss can make people who were previously infertile, very fertile. For that reason, my surgeon and nutritionist have recommended that we use protective measures to avoid pregnancy for the first 18 months after surgery. When I told him this, he was bothered by the fact that I would want to prevent pregnancy after all we have been through. The truth is, I really don’t want to ever be pregnant. I am ok with building my family through adoption, I’m even ok with Lucky Charm being our one and only. He isn’t. He keeps talking about me getting pregnant after the 18 months and we really need to get this resolved. I don’t like to continuously disappoint him, but isn’t it time to put my own needs and health first? When we were going through fertility treatments, it was my body that was violated and attacked by hormones, not his. Nevermind that I am still bleeding profusely so the opportunity to get pregnant is NOT there. It is going to take alot of time for my body to re-adjust to hormonal changes, but hopefully soon I will get a break from bleeding.

I am finally below the weight I was before we started treatments (270). My next goal will be to be below the weight I was at our wedding (228). I really don’t ever want to be back here again, and the thought of pregnancy and gaining weight after all of this hard work scares the pants off of me. Nevermind having been through an incredibly painful back surgery and recovery.

Forty

It has been 43 days since my life changing surgery. I have lost 41 pounds.

I cleaned the floors yesterday and I was sore but I didn’t feel like I was going to die afterwards like I used to. The scale finally budged this morning and I think I may have to clean the floors more often! Haha

I am watching everything I eat closely, watching my protein intake and I am taking my vitamins and thyroid medication regularly. I am also working hard to get in more liquid. I struggle to get in 48oz. I used to easily get 80+oz per day.

I am hoping to join a gym soon and kick off my marathon training very soon!

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Cruella

I have officially named my pouch, Cruella. The “pouch” is the new stomach created from the gastric bypass. Cruella is very temperamental.

CruellaSo far, she does not like cottage cheese on a regular basis. She also does not like sandwich meat. Then she decides on and off to like or dislike foods that she may have had the opposite opinion of the last time it was eaten. She is confusing, and causes me much grief!

Another thing that causes me grief these days is the scale. I have lost only 4 pounds since the last time I wrote. I am grateful for any loss, I just feel like living off of 600-800 calories per day deserves more. I know that people are noticing differences in my face, and I can no longer wear my work pants, so I am celebrating those small victories instead. I know where I can improve in my lifestyle and I plan to make those adjustments.

As of 5 weeks post surgery, I have lost 37 pounds and have dropped one size.  I am free of all diabetes related concerns and medications, and I am off the Diamox for the Intracranial Hypertension. Right now I am taking a few medications; zoloft, thyroid meds, and prevacid for the issues with the pancreatitis. Oh, and my bariatric vitamins.

This week was supposed to be my last iron infusion for this round. They cancelled me last week because I developed hives two days after one of my treatments. So I will meet with the hematologist this week to determine what the next step is. Of course, since I have come off the iron treatments my bleeding has increased ten-fold and I can be safe in assuming that my levels have probably tanked all over again.  As much as I wish the bleeding and anemia had resolved by now, I am grateful to have the diabetes and IH symptoms gone.

As far as my workouts are concerned, I am hitting between 6,000 and 12,000 steps on any given day. I track my steps using Jawbone UP and I love it. It also helps me track my sleep (which is a mess!). 10,000 steps translates to roughly 5 miles. I am looking forward to the start of my running routine. I am confident I can handle the training, but I am not looking forward to running in this heat!

Lucky Charm is also having a bit of a rough time lately. She is starting to comprehend (as much as an almost 3-year-old can) who her birthmom is. We have short conversations about her, and she has spoken to her on the phone. She has also seen a picture. She speaks of her as if she is HERS (she is!) and she is very proud when she talks about her. I don’t know if she is processing her loss, or the trauma she experienced, but after my hospital stays she has been having a very hard time sleeping, and she is acting out quite a bit. Some of her contrary behaviors I know are probably typical for her age, but the aggression is hard. I wish I knew how to handle it better. I contacted a therapist who specializes in adoption and I hope to get some insight.

As far as my career change, I wish I could say I had positive news. I contacted someone about this potential career shift and they did not have positive information for me, but I won’t give up. It has just left me with the thoughts of, what in the world do I want to do with my career? What field can I work in that will give me the pay and satisfaction I desire of a job? What kind of certifications can I get to make me more valuable?

So far, I am coming up empty handed. So yes, I am in limbo mentally with SO many things right now.

Until next time.

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I did it!

This is going to be quick because I am typing from my phone, but I had my surgery on Wednesday and was released from the hospital on Friday after some minor complications with a urinary tract infection. I am doing well coping with the pain and trying to get in my required protein drinks and liquids, but I already miss real food. Its going to be a LONG two weeks on a clear liquid diet.

I will update more soon, but I am still feeling a tad icky and not really up to sitting at the computer yet.

Red Light, Green Light

So the verdict is in, and I got the green light! I am officially approved for surgery by my insurance company! I could NOT believe it! It came down to the wire, and I was holding my breath for a red light and a long, drawn out process.

I had been getting really discouraged over the last week waiting for the approval, thinking that it was going to come so close to surgery, and then get denied, and I would have to re-schedule all of my appointments, and work schedule.

I am scheduled for surgery on Wednesday, May 29th! EEEEEEEK! I will be in the hospital at least one overnight, if not two, depending on how I am feeling and my progress. Then I will come home, and rest and walk walk walk. Mr. Lucky will be home with me until Monday,

June, 3rd. Lucky Charm will go to school Mon.-Weds. and I will work from home these days as long as I am feeling up to it. I am planning to return to work the week of June 10th, as a new person, on a liquid diet (blech!). But hopefully, I won’t be hungry and I won’t care!

So now that I have days before surgery, I need to get a pill crusher, a robe for the hospital, some protein shakes and other clear liquid products. Oh, and I will have to either buy 2 enemas or 2 bottles of magnesium citrate for bowel prep the night before surgery (GAG!). SO not looking forward to that part! I am also going to clean out the pantry and refrigerator of all foods that I will not be able to eat post surgery, or that will not be eaten by Mr. Lucky and Lucky Charm in the few weeks that I am on clear liquids.

I will also be spending my very first night away from Lucky Charm when I am in the hospital. I am going to miss her SO much, but hopefully I will be focused on just getting myself better and going home. I am praying I will only have to stay one night.

We are going to spend the weekend in the pool, since I will have to stay out of it for a while after surgery until the incisions heal. Tuesday I have my pre-op at the hospital, and an iron infusion in the afternoon.

I am also going to have Mr. Lucky take a “Before” photo of me this weekend that I will post here.

I am SO excited and nervous for all of these life changes.